Muslim bus driver hits the brakes for prayer session

By David Menzies

For those who commute by public transit, it’s well known that a bus driver doesn’t merely halt his vessel to pick up passengers. Rather, drivers pulling over to go to the loo, make an ATM withdrawal or grab a Tim Bit or 10 are all part of the de rigueur delays one puts up with when enduring the indignities of mass transit.

While unscheduled coffee breaks can be irksome, consider the bizarre case of a Muslim bus driver in London, England who stunned his passengers by pulling over midway through his route so that he could pray in the aisle of his bus.

According to the U.K.’s Daily Mail, the driver stopped his bus without warning, removed his shoes and placed his fluorescent jacket upon the floor to use as a makeshift prayer mat. To further ratchet up the fear factor, the driver then began chanting in Arabic.

Faster than you could say “Sharia law”, tensions on the No. 24 bus were running high. The passengers – with memories of London’s 2005 public transit terrorist attacks still fresh in their craniums – feared the driver was preparing to rendezvous with 72 voluptuous black-eyed virgins in the afterlife.

Compounding the situation: nobody was allowed to get on or off the bus during the driver’s five-minute confab with Allah.

Passenger Gayle Griffiths complained to Transport for London about the incident, saying she feared the driver was a fanatic who was planning to blow up the bus.

What a dummy! HOV cheater foiled by lowered sun visor

By David Menzies

You would think there are already enough dummies on the road without people going out of their way to give rides to the non-human kind.

But alas, yet another high-occupancy-vehicle (HOV) lane cheater was caught last week on New York’s Long Island Expressway pulling the ol’ mannequin-in-the-passenger-seat trick.

If anything, the dummy looked extremely convincing given her long mane of auburn hair along with matching polka dot blouse and scarf.

However, an eagle-eyed police officer, Deputy Sheriff Robert Howard, spotted the ruse. And it wasn’t because the dummy was wearing unspeakably unfashionable makeup (green eye shadow and coral lipstick – that’s just so 1983!)  Rather, Deputy Howard’s suspicions were aroused when he noticed that the passenger was wearing sunglasses and the sun visor was in the down position. All of which wouldn’t have been unusual were it a sunny day. But it happened to be overcast that morning.

In any event, the officer chased down and pulled over the green Chrysler convertible (perhaps that was the reason for the emerald-hued eye shadow – to match the paint job on the car?)

Upon being charged, the driver of the car, Kathleen A. Frascinella, 61, was unrepentant.
“She said, ‘Everybody’s doing this!’” Howard said.

(Note to Ms. Frascinella: While it may or may not be true that “everyone’s doing this,” the salient point here would be that you were the one caught “doing” it.)

Sardines-to-go: crazy cabbie crams 49 kids into a 16-seat vehicle

By David Menzies

There’s an old transportation joke that is oft-repeated in the developing world. Question: how many people can fit on the bus? Answer: one more.

Alas, it appears as though a 26-year-old South African taxi driver embraced that joke as a template for standard operating procedure. Incredibly, the driver recently shoehorned 49 school children, aged three to 13, into a minibus that has seating for 16. That works out to three kids per seat – plus one in the cargo bay.

It gets worse: blood tests administered by the police revealed that the driver was an astonishing five times over the legal alcohol limit.

South Africa’s National Transport spokesman Logan Maistry understated the obvious when he noted that the children were so tightly crammed into the minibus they could barely move.

Maistry says law enforcement officers will intensify inspections of public transportation vehicles. He said transportation companies and drivers have responsibilities to protect the lives of commuters and that they shouldn’t only be interested in making money. (Cue laugh track here.)

LED lights: environmentally-friendly… except during winter

By David Menzies

In recent years, numerous municipalities have taken a shine to LED (light emitting diodes) technology for traffic signals. And what’s not to love? These environmentally-friendly lights, which use up to 90% less energy than traditional incandescent lights, also last much longer than incandescent lights. Surely going the LED route is win-win, right?

Alas, leave it to Mother Nature and Old Man Winter to lay a beating on a good idea.

At issue: as motorists battle the elements during the winter driving months, there’s now concern that LED traffic lights could pose an unexpected risk on the roads. Although incandescent light bulbs are energy hogs, at least such lights generate enough heat to melt away blowing snow. But because LEDs use only a fraction of the energy and because they generate a bright light, LEDs fail to create enough heat to melt away the snow that adheres to traffic lights during snowstorms.

Recently, the mayor of blizzard-prone Halifax warned that blowing snow could blot out the signals at some of the city's 250-plus intersections.

“We are experiencing, during wet snow events, blocking of some of the lights,” Peter Kelly recently told The Halifax Weekly News. “It happens in particular when the direction of the lights is head-on to the storm.”

Why Zombieland rules: SUVs are celebrated, not condemned

By David Menzies

Drivers of supersized-sport utility vehicles have endured more than their fair share of criticism. You know the barbs: SUVs are “gas hogs”; they leave behind an egregious carbon footprint; blah-blah-blah-blah... Talk about an inconvenient goof: in 2002, the Hummer H2 was the coolest ride on the road; today, driving a Humvee is the automotive equivalent of wearing fur.

But shell-shocked SUVers rejoice: in Zombieland (out on DVD tomorrow), big SUVs are cherished, not chastised.

Indeed, SUVs play a crucial role in keeping the main protagonist, Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg) alive.
While Zombieland is a comedy about zombies (a zomedy?), Columbus has crafted 32 rules he deems crucial to staying alive in a post-apocalyptic Earth infested by the living dead. Partnering with Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson), the duo traverse the landscape behind the wheel of a Cadillac Escalade with a plough affixed to the grille (for moving zombies, not snow, out of the way.)

Incidentally, just because one is ensconced within the confines of a substantial SUV, it’s always prudent to embrace Rule #1: Cardio. (For obvious reasons, the planet’s fatsos were the first to perish when the zombie plague erupted.) Put another way, a nice ride is meaningless if you’re not fit enough to outrun the zombie hordes en route to the driver’s seat.

Saab owners needn’t sob anymore: the brand is saved (maybe)

By David Menzies

Christian Skovbjerg is probably thinking of buying a lottery ticket these days. After all, the super Saab fan feels like he’s already hit one jackpot.

Skovbjerg is a member of the Saab Club of Canada and is owner of an auto repair shop in Oakville, Ont. that specializes in Saabs. Last weekend, behind the wheel of his snazzy blue 1974 Saab Sonett, Skovbjerg was part of a convoy of more than 100 Saab owners who descended upon GM Canada’s headquarters in Oshawa. They were there to protest GM’s plans to mothball its Swedish automotive division.

In truth, last weekend, the idea of Saab being saved by anyone looked about as likely as the rebirth of the Pontiac Firebird. After all, in recent months, various would-be buyers for Saab turned out to be commitment-shy tire-kickers.

But a few days ago, GM announced it had reached an agreement to sell Saab to the Dutch sports car manufacturer Spyker Cars NV. Once the deal closes (it’s expected to be finalized around Valentine’s Day), Skovbjerg’s Swedish love affair with Saab will continue.

“Saabs are great cars, and Spyker is a good fit as an owner,” he says.

That would be in stark contrast to GM, which didn’t seem to know what to do with Saab. For starters, the General was inept at marketing these fine cars (hands up anyone who can recall a noteworthy Saab ad campaign in the last 15 years?) In fact, Skovbjerg contends GM really only wanted Saab for its technology and research and development.

Here’s your traffic ticket, ma’am. Will that be cash, Visa or sex?

 

By David Menzies

What do you get when you cross “Ponch” (Erik Estrada’s character from CHiPs) with Tiger Woods?

It would probably be someone who very much resembles Florida Highway Patrol trooper Wilfredo Bennett.

Alas, Wilfredo apparently fancies himself as a Latin lover. In fact, it’s a shtick he was employing to a somewhat unacceptable extreme with traffic code violators assuming said violators were: A. female; and B. hot. At least one such motorist was given the option of getting out of her traffic ticket… as long as she agreed to hook up with Officer Feel-Good after hours.

Court records show that following a 2008 crash investigation, the 39-year-old Bennett informed Donna Michelle Herbst that he wouldn’t bother showing up for her court date if she contested the ticket.
The catch? She had to make dinner for him. Oh, and Bennett was interested in some dessert, too. Indeed, Herbst told investigators she had sex with Bennett on 20 occasions – sometimes when he was still on duty.

Incredibly, a police officer conducting himself in such a fashion is indeed against the rules when it comes to enforcing the Florida Traffic Code.

Bennett is accused of betraying his oath to uphold the law in return for regular sex. He has pleaded not guilty and faces up to 15 years in prison if convicted.

Toyota temporarily stopping sale of recalled vehicles

By MSN Autos

Toyota is suspending the sale of eight models sold in Canada and the U.S. to fix a sticking gas pedal in a recall announced last week.

The Japanese automaker is recalling approximately 270,000 vehicles in Canada to fix the accelerator pedal on the following vehicles:

Geriatrics slug it out over parking spot

By David Menzies

A tale of two New Yorkers getting into an altercation over a parking spot is about as newsworthy as reporting there’s a lot of cold, salty water in the Atlantic Ocean.

Then there’s the bizarre case of Gersh Gofman and Steve Pulwers – two Big Apple geriatrics that went at it hammer and tong over street parking.

The problem began when Gofman, 83, parked his car in front of the driveway outside of the house belonging to Pulwers, 99.

Pulwers, who lives above a doctor’s office, said he was putting out the trash when the doctor returned from an emergency call. The doc couldn’t get into his driveway and began to honk his horn in an ill-fated attempt to get Gofman to pull ahead. That’s when Pulwers began knocking on Gofman’s window. Apparently, everybody got tired of waiting for Gofman.

“I say, ‘Gentleman, the doctor wants to go into the garage,’ Pulwers told the New York Post. “He did not answer.”

Well, actually, Gofman eventually responded – with his metal steering wheel lock. Junior got out of his car and soundly clubbed Pulwers with The Club.

The near-centenarian was knocked to the ground and pinned. Pulwers said he tried to use his coat to defend himself, but continued to suffer repeated blows.

Winter’s most dire road hazard: laziness

By David Menzies

Ah, motoring in the good ol’ wintertime. Black ice, zero visibility, frigid temperatures, poor traction ... what’s not to love?

Yet, who would’ve guessed that of all the various winter road hazards, one of the most dangerous is something that rarely gets any publicity: sheer laziness.

A recent international survey has found that one-third of motorists fail to properly clear their windshields before hitting the road, the most common excuse being they were in “too much of a rush.”

The survey, conducted by Continental Tyres and involving approximately 4,000 European drivers, found that one in three drivers failed to fully clear their windshield before driving off. Of those drivers, more than 50% believe such neglect is wrong… yet didn’t stop behaving this way nonetheless.

“Men appear to be worse offenders than women, and are a staggering 129 per cent more likely... to have had a near-miss on the roads in the winter because they set off before clearing their windscreen properly,” says Tim Bailey, Continental’s head of safety.