Billy J. Robinson: world's dumbest car thief

By David Menzies

Say what you will about cutting-edge forensics and good old fashioned detective work, police openly admit that in many instances, a crime is solved thanks to the sheer stupidity of the criminal.
The most recent comical case in point: Billy J. Robinson of St. Louis.

The unintentional hilarity began at an East Peoria, Ill. Lowe’s parking lot, where Robinson allegedly tried to steal a car.

Robinson targeted a Buick Park Avenue and had peeled the sedan’s steering wheel column back when a woman caught him in the act. She confronted Robinson, asking him what he was doing. According to police, Robinson admitted he was “trying to start the car.”

That’s when the woman delivered some unfortunate news to the 20-year-old ne’er-do-well: the Buick happened to belong to her and she had already called police. The woman then told Robinson to get out of the car and follow her.

“Believe it or not, he started to follow her,” East Peoria police chief Ed Papis told the Peoria Journal Star. “But he had a change of heart. He ran toward the expressway, jumped the fence and was out of sight.”

For almost an hour, a swarm of police officers combed the riverfront area for Robinson. With help from the car owner, police knew who to look for: a black man in his 20s of average height and weight, wearing a red, white and black jersey, black gloves and jeans.

But it wasn’t Robinson’s apparel that led to his undoing. Amazingly, the would-be thief later showed up at the police station. Yet, Robinson wasn’t there to turn himself in; rather, he popped by the precinct to ask the cops if they could give him bus fare.